i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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