everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
