I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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