and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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