I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
