You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
