yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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