i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
