Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
