I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
