In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
