i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
