So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
and you fell through a lawn chair
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
