That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
