Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
