Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
