I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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