you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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