What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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