Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Semen is not good for contacts.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
