Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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