Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
