i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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