When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize