I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
