Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
