I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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