Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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