Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
