I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
