Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
