I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
