I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
