There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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