Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
