JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
BRING THE BAGELS
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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