Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize