We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
