you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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