my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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