Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
