i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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