i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
