This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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