I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
