i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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