She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize