Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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