i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
