I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
