Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize