Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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