coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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