So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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