Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we have officially lost it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i now understand why vodka
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
