I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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