Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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