Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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