Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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