Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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