Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
