you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
