is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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