PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think my fart just growled at me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
