Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
