can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
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Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
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I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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