Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
