sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
