So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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