Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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